Carebear

Happy 34 birthday Mr Taylor Hanson  March 14th, 12:05 20 years ago my life was changed . he is my idol in the most definite and Sentimental Meaning . but as of this year we are certainly celebrating in every sense of the word - going on MOE tour ( middle of Everywhere ) yes were milking middle of Nowhere ) to Pittsburgh 3rd row Ikes Side 7 and 8 ; and philadelphia for concerts 43 and 44 inSeptember ( my birthday Month ) - or in tays case 44 and 45 . he has inspired the fact I want to be in business , serve the needy in my community and of course sing and play music as a kid . but that hug at BTTI was long time coming . we are opposite personalities - I'm the talker and he's reserved . but this year with the hug he showed me something that was my teen age dream . I wanted be accepted and appreciated by him . now it seems anything is again possible . between him Dr Patton and God I've got angels somewhere . I hope this continues with my current job and the like . Im Gr...

My  First meeting with my doRs counselour is tommorrow to discuss  my plan for action . I dont want to get caught again the broken system of people not hiring me  because im disabled . thats what Im writing my Proposal yet again for a 3rd time in ten years . im taking colleen  on Hanson vacation once again . shes  mentally struggling . I actuallly woke up crying about it this am . you would think if I get that up set about it I wouldnt want to keep striving to get into social work . but  thats exactly  why I want to keep trying  to prove the point - because the disabled and underprivledged are still under served .

its been a over joy the past months watching Justin on tv  Finally . In the past 4 months he's been on tv at least 6 times . I hope this will continue on Forever . He is my friend and Inspiration definitely . when I look back at our careers when I saw him in 2010 we were both at the lowest point . we wondered if any one would ever recognize , out passion , skill , talent and out infinite love for  people . when you have us 2 in  the room chances are we are gabbing to someone about , our work , our interests and of course fave Food . Its really food that found us following each other .   We have  other Interests tho : Justin also had the opportunity to be the host  for a Defining moments blog . These Individuals basically Redefined and Refound themselves during turning Points  in their lives . Justin began with his own story . it again reconfirmed that he is the king of turning a liability into an asset . I feel like the Lukiest Super fan in the world ....

Sometimes God Turns you the Opposite direction . As he will for me August 19th . My Job is ending and back to DORs and job hunting again . tbh I hate it . what I wanted was for my job  to be permanent . I wanted to find a business where finally some one would accept for who  I was . but I have to accept that the offer wasn' t permanent ; instead it was an opportunity to prove my self and Survive on my own . Thus I have . I found parts  of me I didn't know were in me . I was able to function in concert with people who are not disabled  at all  and I was able to  help run a business and earn my own money .To be honest , I never felt like I fully belonged - physically challenged ; usually short statured , ADD ; its all a place I did nothing to deserve or entitle.   however I worked  hard to get there . Hopefully this " turning the tables " is the experience I need for the next step in the journey and find a blessing in defeat  .

This pAst visit with chef Justin didn't go as well as I'd hoped . I didn't say more than shake his hand and " Hi Sir ! " I wish I could have explained to him that he inspired all of this - the opportunity I have to be whomever I want to be ( see Arc blog 5 ) . I don'tknow  why I can't bring myself to do it . The reason I think why is that we will both  get too emotional . Just like the night we first met when I had him sign him and Alton's picture from his food network star finale . That was turning point in my life as is every night I see him . Every visit reaffirms the I can be whom I want , I can do business and promote in any I choose . My dreAm is to promote him some day and give him the James Beard excellence in culinary arts award . I've dreamed about it already sighting cousin Jimmy Robey as the person at my side flying with me and being the most caring assist as maybe mom or dad wouldn't be around to be able to . It's most beautifu...

ARC Blog 10 Paying attention .  August 22nd, 17:17 Another struggle with my disability is that I sometimes make mistakes with accuracy and paying attention . It is so important when one is expected to be responsible with their work , their family and other responsibilities and commitments . I'm not the first say that modern technology has spoiled us in that computers can spell check , recognize usernames and passwords , lock accounts when login attempts have failed to protect our privacy , and many other frustrations in our everyday life . Ive struggled with this aspect of my disability all my life . I have to make note of everything and keep trying to remember . Repetition is key . If you practice and learn from your mistakes, you will be all right .It is hard to believe that though . One mistake can set a mood for the rest of your day . My new job has put new pressure on me I haven't felt before . I know how important get everything right is to any line of work , but espe...

I begin this entry with inspiring advice from my aunt : " Trust in God's plan . We don't always understand at the time why things happen, but Faith sees us through til the day we do. God has a plan for you and it will be revealed according to his schedule, not ours."  My Aunt Patricia always has been so positive an inspiring . Family and friends have always been my shield . Without them, I wouldn't have the physical and emotional support a human being needs to keep going . Faith has always been difficult for me to have . If a person has too much faith and confidence , they are seen as cocky and egotistical ; but if we doubt , we are thought of as weak and negative . The trick is finding the balance between faith, doubt , confidence and fear . I struggle to find that balance every day . I try so hard and then think its not worth it because I've been rejected so many times before . I find that if I keep trying through , I give myself the chance improve . But for...